One of my dearest friends from high school (not Catholic, but does believe in God) is pregnant with her 4th baby. She went in for a routine appointment and she was told that because of too much scar tissue, the baby likely won't make it through the 2nd trimester. She also has an infection in her uterus which further complicates issues. She has been told that terminating the pregnancy is "a must." She has an appointment on Monday for a D&C. Please storm heaven. It sounds like her Doctor is being very pushy about it and not giving her any other options to explore.
Those who have no faith in God would put their faith in the doctor and figure whatever doctor says must be right. Of course, none of us have ever heard of a doctor being wrong, have we? Or have we?
Let's examine this note.
1. The woman is pregnant with baby number 4. Some people believe that two kids are plenty. Three are too many. Four are just plain irresponsible. The woman writing this prayer request is young--in her twenties. That means her high school friend must be in her twenties, too, in all probability. Now take a doctor who thinks four is irresponsible, has a twenty something woman in his office who is expecting number four, and who has a uterine infection and scar tissue. It would take a generous character to help this woman have this child for a person who thinks she's over populating and will likely go on to have God knows how many MORE kids before menopause. So tell her she has scar tissue and the baby won't make it. Scar tissue does not go away. So if this baby won't make it, neither will babies 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 and so on. Stop her from having this baby, then tell her she should get her tubes tied, and you've stopped her from reproducing. This is the way human minds work.
2. The woman has a uterine infection. What if the baby does not die but is harmed by the infection and the woman sues the doctor for not treating her properly? If she terminates, that is HER decision and no risk to the doctor because of her free choice.
What can we do in the face of pressures like these? We can pray for our friends. We can try to help them seek alternatives. For any serious surgery, most people will get a second opinion before undergoing surgery. Why not get a second opinion in this case, but don't tell doctor number 2 what doctor number 1 said. In fact, the best place to get a second opinion is through a doctor recommended by prolife pregnancy help agency like Birthright (call 1-800-550-4900). These doctors will do whatever they can to help a woman through a pregnancy and give birth to her baby, and many will give a free consultation.
The bottom line is that penitents need to remember that GOD and not the DOCTOR is in charge of life. We let Him call the shots. We don't second guess or predict what is going to happen with a life. We let what happens in God's hands and we engage the doctor to assist the Lord in saving life until a natural death occurs. One of the Spiritual Works of Mercy is to "Pray for the living and the dead." We are living until we are dead. We preserve life and pray for one another until we are all safely in the arms of God.
Helpful online books:
My Child, My Gift: A Positive Response to Serious Prenatal Diagnosis
Having Your Baby When You (Or Others) Say No!: A Complete Guide to Overcoming Your Fears about Having Your Baby
--Madeline Pecora Nugent
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