Be Not Afraid of Questions and Doubts

Our world is longing for a Savior. We long for the coming of the Kingdom with weak hands and wobbly knees. Can we see ourselves as the ones who need the help of a divine physician? If there was one take-away from the year of mercy, it is was that God is not ashamed of our feeble and fainthearted efforts. Throughout the Year of Mercy, Pope Francis kept reminding us that God never tires of lifting us up by His saving grace. It is this boundless mercy that manifests the power of God working through our weakness. We have reason to rejoice.

It seems safe to say that, for many of us, the walk in faith has not been marked with joy and singing. More often than not, we can identify with John the Baptist: “Are you really the One?” Sitting in his prison cell, John must have been wracked with the question: “Is this all there is?” While he did not doubt the fidelity of God, you might say, his faith needed a boost. The mercy of God reached out to him and the light of grace shined on his darkness, giving him reason to rejoice. Under the loving gaze of God, the wilderness of his captivity began to blossom abundantly. In the life and ministry of Christ, his feeble and faint heart was encouraged.

I hope you found reassurance in John the Baptist’s question. Think of it this way, if the forerunner of Christ struggled with doubt, we are in good company. There is nothing to be ashamed of when we see our faith getting shaky. Like John the Baptist, we need to utter the questions that trouble our hearts, not avoid them. This theme was taken up by Pope Francis during a recent audience with young people: “We do not need to be afraid of questions and doubts because they are the beginning of a path of knowledge and going deeper; one who does not ask questions cannot progress either in knowledge or in faith.”

It might be good to admit our doubts and try to sit with the ambiguity of faith. Ponder the Shoot that sprouted from the root of Jesse. Ponder the Bread that came down from Heaven. Ponder the Gift that was wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in a manger. In the midst of darkness and gloom, it is good to ponder the star that led men of old to the Light of the World. The birth of Christ takes faith out of the realms of theory and moves us to perform acts of loving-kindness for others. Using our weak hands and wobbly knees we come into the presence of God and find Him in the faces of those we encounter.

As we deal with our weak hands and wobbly knees of faith, we need to look around and see the signs that the Kingdom is erupting in our midst. Jesus’ words to the disciples of John underscore this. If you look around, you will see the signs of God’s loving-kindness: ´The blind regain their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have the good news proclaimed to them” (Mat. 11:5). Though our hands be weak and our knees wobbly, we can lean on Christ.

He will accompany us. The journey may not be elegant, but the destination is sure – our heavenly homeland. All that God requires from us is that we depend on Him and place our weak hands and wobbly knees at His service. Into a world enveloped in darkness and uncertainty, a light shall shine, the Light of Christ, the Light of the World.

In that light we shall look at each other’s face and see the Face of Christ. In that light, we can lift up our hands and make a joyful noise. In that Light we shall stand up on our wobbly knees and dance. In that Light we can show forth the goodness of our God by showing love and compassion for one another. Let us standup on our wobbly knees and raise our weak hands and prepare the way for our God. We need only ask the Lord to use us as we are, to open the door for His coming. I hope you find this prayer of Thomas Merton an appropriate ending to these reflections.


“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”

--Father Jerome Machar, OSCO

I Am Not the Messiah: A Message of John the Baptist for Our Times

This was the witness of John, when the Jews sent to him priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, 'Who are you?' He declared, he did not deny but declared, 'I am not the Christ.' So they asked, 'Then are you Elijah?' He replied, 'I am not.' 'Are you the Prophet?' He answered, 'No.' So they said to him, 'Who are you? We must take back an answer to those who sent us. What have you to say about yourself?' So he said, 'I am, as Isaiah prophesied: A voice of one that cries in the desert: Prepare a way for the Lord. Make his paths straight!' Now those who had been sent were Pharisees, and they put this question to him, 'Why are you baptising if you are not the Christ, and not Elijah, and not the Prophet?' John answered them, 'I baptise with water; but standing among you -- unknown to you-is the one who is coming after me; and I am not fit to undo the strap of his sandal.' (John 1: 19-27)

This Gospel passage has elicited a great deal of comment among Biblical scholars. When the Pharisees asked John the Baptist questions, he did not reply in an anticipated way. Who are you? Are you Elijah? Are you the prophet?, John answers, “No,” to all of these questions and begins by acknowledging that he is not the Christ. One scholar admonishes each of us to repeat those words of John the Baptist."I am not the Messiah." Try it.. Say it a few times and listen to your voice. It's a good thing to remember, isn't it? "I am not the Messiah."

Now we know John was not the Messiah. But Biblical scholars have done a great job in splitting hairs to explain why John said he was not Elijah or the prophet, when other times in Scripture he is identified as being Elijah or the prophet. Why doesn’t John claim these titles? Is he staying clear of them out of humility? Does he not want to imply that Elijah has been reincarnated in him or some other such thing? We could go on and on discussing this.

But rather than get caught up in the question of how John could be Elijah and not be Elijah, the question begs a deeper message. What is it that we are to be looking for? Where do we expect to find God?

The Lord did not come in a way that made people recognize him. Baby Jesus was not born in a manger with a big sign above it that says, “I am the Christ. Here I am. Look at me.” No, this is not the way of the Lord. God does not want to turn us into Mr. Roboto Christians who say, “I see. I do. I believe,” because God has pointed Himself out, told us our marching orders, and now expects us to fall in step.

No. Jesus wants us to watch, to see with our eyes, and to come to a belief with our hearts. He does not wish to spoon feed us. We are convicted not because of what we see but because of what we believe through what we see. We are converted by seeing evidence of God around us.

God invites us into the experience of God, by being with him, seeing him, finding him, and then becoming converted. So often we want to know who someone is but we do not listen to what they say. What caption, what label, what stereotype can we put on this person? We ask this instead of listening to what the person is saying. People want the easy way out, by judging people and what they are going to do or what they expect them to say. And this judging and anticipation does not get to the heart or soul of the person. We become obsessed with words and distractions. God wants us to meditate on the words and to look past the distractions. He does not point himself out to us in a way that we might know him like a big neon sign that tells us a greasy spoon restaurant is in that building over there. No, God does not do that. We must be ready and watchful for much more subtle signs of him, not only in the time of John the Baptist but also now.

John the Baptist called the people to look at the signs and to see that something special was there. He wanted them to watch for the experience of God in their lives and to be ready to respond to his message. We have this opportunity continually, in the Eucharist, in others, in our experiences, and in the world around us. We must try not to look for signs in the sky but have a true spirit of openness and gratitude so that we can recognize the Lord when he comes in our ordinary lives.

--Father Jacob Meyer

Repentance and Prayer: The Way to Holiness

12 When Jesus heard that John had been arrested, he left Judea and returned to Galilee. 13 But instead of going to Nazareth, he went to Capernaum, beside the Sea of Galilee, in the region of Zebulun and Naphtali. 14 This fulfilled Isaiah's prophecy: 15 "In the land of Zebulun and of Naphtali, beside the sea, beyond the Jordan River -- in Galilee where so many Gentiles live -- 16the people who sat in darkness have seen a great light. And for those who lived in the land where death casts its shadow, a light has shined." 17 From then on, Jesus began to preach, "Turn from your sins and turn to God, because the Kingdom of Heaven is near. " 18 One day as Jesus was walking along the shore beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers -- Simon, also called Peter, and Andrew -- fishing with a net, for they were commercial fishermen. 19 Jesus called out to them,"Come, be my disciples, and I will show you how to fish for people!" 20 And they left their nets at once and went with him. 21 A little farther up the shore he saw two other brothers, James and John, sitting in a boat with their father, Zebedee, mending their nets. And he called them to come, too. 22 They immediately followed him, leaving the boat and their father behind. 23 Jesus traveled throughout Galilee teaching in the synagogues, preaching everywhere the Good News about the Kingdom. And he healed people who had every kind of sickness and disease.(Matthew 4: 12-23)

When Jesus heard that John had been arrested, he went to live in Capernaum. John had been sent to preach the baptism of repentance and to prepare the way for Jesus to come. John told the people, “I have only come to prepare the way for the Messiah, but you do not recognize him. I am not fit to untie his sandal strap. I baptize you with water, but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit. Look for him. Wait for him.”  

Wait for the LORD, take courage;

be stouthearted, wait for the LORD! (Psalm 27:14)

The Light has come. He is in our midst. Baptism gives us the grace of adoption as the sons and daughters of God. The grace of baptism never leaves us once it comes upon us. We never stop being a beloved son or daughter of the Father. We may make poor choices. We may place our self-will in opposition to God’s Holy Will. Our vision may be clouded and our will weakened due to sin. Sometimes we choose for the good, sometimes for evil. Even if we choose to sin, we will never cease to be the son or daughter of our Father. We will never cease to be his child. He will never stop loving us.

The Father embraces the Prodigal Son

John and Jesus preached the baptism of repentance. In order for the Holy Spirit to be vibrant in our lives, in order for Jesus to shine forth, we need to repent. Everyone needs to repent. All have sinned and fall short of God’s glory. Pope John Paul II used to go to confession every day. Mother Teresa of Calcutta went every week. The constitutions of her Order say that the sisters must confess weekly. It is embarrassing to go to confession. We have to humble ourselves and confess our sins. But the fruit of this is a tremendous joy. The prophets tell us that there is great joy, abundant joy, when we do God’s will.

I have an older brother who called me up with great joy because he had been to a retreat with  his wife who had forced him to go. And his life had been changed. This was the first retreat he’d ever made in his whole life and he is 70 years old. God entered his life on this retreat, probably through his going to confession. He had so much joy and hope that he had to share them with the family.

What happens when I go to the Lord and admit that I am a sinner? How do I begin a confession? I should say, “Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” This is a good thing to say when we can’t sleep. Say it over and over and you will soon sleep in peace. This is called the Pilgrim’s prayer. It helps us know who we are and who God is.

Sin can wreak havoc in a soul and can also affect our bodies. Our bodies show the effects of sin by making us tense and guilty. We take our sin and go to Jesus who took all our sins upon himself and therefore conquered sin. He is the one who smashed the yoke that burdens us. He took the heavy rod of the taskmaster from our shoulders.

John the Baptist preached baptism for the repentance of sins, and he told us to repent for the kingdom of God is at hand. But Jesus told us that the kingdom of God is already here. If I don’t experience the peace, love, joy, patience, fortitude, and so forth of the Holy Spirit, that means that I need to repent of my sin. I need to give my sins to Jesus, to surrender to God. The Lord told King St. Louis of France that he, Louis, wanted to pray as a saint, but God wanted him to come to the Lord as a poor, humble soul.

Jesus told us that blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. A soul that acknowledges that she needs God is poor in spirit. Go to God poor in spirit. Be humble and repent. That is the first step to holiness.

The second is this. Pray perseveringly. Pray when prayer is beautiful and uplifting, and pray on the days when prayer is not so beautiful. Many people get discouraged when prayer becomes boring and they drop it. God did not ask us to pray well but to pray always, to persevere in prayer. Jesus told us the parable about praying always and not losing heart.

Prayer and repentance are the way holiness.

--Transcribed as best as possible from a homily by Father James Kumbakkeel, O.S.B.,

He Must Increase; I Must Decrease

This is the testimony given by John when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, ‘Who are you?’ He confessed and did not deny it, but confessed, ‘I am not the Messiah.’ And they asked him, ‘What then? Are you Elijah?’ He said, ‘I am not.’ ‘Are you the prophet?’ He answered, ‘No.’ Then they said to him, ‘Who are you? Let us have an answer for those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?’ He said,

‘I am the voice of one crying out in the wilderness, “Make straight the way of the Lord” ,
as the prophet Isaiah said.

 Now they had been sent from the Pharisees. They asked him, ‘Why then are you baptizing if you are neither the Messiah, nor Elijah, nor the prophet?’ John answered them, ‘I baptize with water. Among you stands one whom you do not know, the one who is coming after me; I am not worthy to untie the thong of his sandal.’ This took place in Bethany across the Jordan where John was baptizing.
 The next day he saw Jesus coming towards him and declared, ‘Here is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! This is he of whom I said, “After me comes a man who ranks ahead of me because he was before me.” I myself did not know him; but I came baptizing with water for this reason, that he might be revealed to Israel.’ And John testified, ‘I saw the Spirit descending from heaven like a dove, and it remained on him. I myself did not know him, but the one who sent me to baptize with water said to me, “He on whom you see the Spirit descend and remain is the one who baptizes with the Holy Spirit.” And I myself have seen and have testified that this is the Son of God.’
The next day John again was standing with two of his disciples, and as he watched Jesus walk by, he exclaimed, ‘Look, here is the Lamb of God!’ The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus. When Jesus turned and saw them following, he said to them, ‘What are you looking for?’ They said to him, ‘Rabbi’ (which translated means Teacher), ‘where are you staying?’ He said to them, ‘Come and see.’  (John 1: 19-39)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . .
After this Jesus and his disciples went into the Judean countryside, and he spent some time there with them and baptized. John also was baptizing at Aenon near Salim because water was abundant there; and people kept coming and were being baptized— John, of course, had not yet been thrown into prison.

 Now a discussion about purification arose between John’s disciples and a Jew. They came to John and said to him, ‘Rabbi, the one who was with you across the Jordan, to whom you testified, here he is baptizing, and all are going to him.’ John answered, ‘No one can receive anything except what has been given from heaven. You yourselves are my witnesses that I said, “I am not the Messiah, but I have been sent ahead of him.” He who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. For this reason my joy has been fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease.’(John 3:22-30)

John the Baptist was about thirty years old when he began his mission, and his mission ended between six months and a year later. John’s entire thirty years of preparation were for a mission that lasted six to twelve months. Most of John’s life was spent in prayer and penance, and yet his very short ministry rocked the world. His ministry was to introduce Christ the Lord and then to step aside. And this is exactly what he did.

John calls himself a friend of the bridegroom. The bridegroom is the one who is marrying the bride, the Church. The bridegroom’s friend rejoices at the good fortune of the bridegroom, but he is not the groom. John the Baptist is an incredible example of prayer, penance, and humility. He knows who he is before the Lord. He steps aside when the Lord comes because he knows that the ministry is not about himself. The ministry was about opening the hearts of others to receive Christ when He came.

Before Jesus came to be baptized, when John was baptizing, the Pharisees asked him who he was, and John said, “I am not the Christ. Nor am I Elijah or one of the prophets. I am the voice of one crying in the wilderness to make known the way of the Lord.” John was comfortable with the fact that he was not the Messiah. He knew that he was not going to fix everything. He told the Pharisees, “I am not even worthy to untie the sandals of the Messiah. My ministry is not about me. I am only doing what a slave does. I am just a voice. I have nothing without the grace of God. The one who comes after me existed before me.”

When Jesus comes to John, John says that Jesus ought to be baptizing him and not the other way around. After Jesus was baptized, God said from a cloud, “This is my beloved Son. Listen to Him.” God did not say, “And this is my good servant John who has prepared the way for my Son.” God did not say anything about John, but John did not care that he was not acknowledged and he did not get jealous. John tells his disciples to follow Jesus now. Go after Him.

John is free about holding on to his disciples, and, when he hears that Jesus is baptizing, he is excited about that. He says, “My joy is complete.” He is not worried that Jesus is stealing his congregation or that everyone might go to Jesus instead of to John. No. He tells his disciples that this is good. Jesus is baptizing. Go to Christ. It is not about me, John. It’s about Him. “I am preparing you,” said John, “for the real new thing. Go to Him. He must increase, and I must decrease.”

John is free to decrease. He is free to be nothing, and he is joyful about it. “Jesus is the groom. He is the one you must belong to. He’s the one you must become one with. I am just a voice,” said John. “He is the Word.” Let his word penetrate every fiber of your being.

At the age of thirty or thirty-one, John will go to a premature death, and he’s okay with that, too. He had looked into the eyes of God, his own cousin, and he had heard the Word. He is more than happy to give his life to the One whom he met and loved and pointed out. May we receive the grace to complete our mission while realizing that it is not about us; it is about the Lord. We are the best man, but Jesus is the groom. It all belongs to Him.

Transcribed from a homily by Father David Engo, FFM