Be Not Afraid of Questions and Doubts

Our world is longing for a Savior. We long for the coming of the Kingdom with weak hands and wobbly knees. Can we see ourselves as the ones who need the help of a divine physician? If there was one take-away from the year of mercy, it is was that God is not ashamed of our feeble and fainthearted efforts. Throughout the Year of Mercy, Pope Francis kept reminding us that God never tires of lifting us up by His saving grace. It is this boundless mercy that manifests the power of God working through our weakness. We have reason to rejoice.

It seems safe to say that, for many of us, the walk in faith has not been marked with joy and singing. More often than not, we can identify with John the Baptist: “Are you really the One?” Sitting in his prison cell, John must have been wracked with the question: “Is this all there is?” While he did not doubt the fidelity of God, you might say, his faith needed a boost. The mercy of God reached out to him and the light of grace shined on his darkness, giving him reason to rejoice. Under the loving gaze of God, the wilderness of his captivity began to blossom abundantly. In the life and ministry of Christ, his feeble and faint heart was encouraged.

I hope you found reassurance in John the Baptist’s question. Think of it this way, if the forerunner of Christ struggled with doubt, we are in good company. There is nothing to be ashamed of when we see our faith getting shaky. Like John the Baptist, we need to utter the questions that trouble our hearts, not avoid them. This theme was taken up by Pope Francis during a recent audience with young people: “We do not need to be afraid of questions and doubts because they are the beginning of a path of knowledge and going deeper; one who does not ask questions cannot progress either in knowledge or in faith.”

It might be good to admit our doubts and try to sit with the ambiguity of faith. Ponder the Shoot that sprouted from the root of Jesse. Ponder the Bread that came down from Heaven. Ponder the Gift that was wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in a manger. In the midst of darkness and gloom, it is good to ponder the star that led men of old to the Light of the World. The birth of Christ takes faith out of the realms of theory and moves us to perform acts of loving-kindness for others. Using our weak hands and wobbly knees we come into the presence of God and find Him in the faces of those we encounter.

As we deal with our weak hands and wobbly knees of faith, we need to look around and see the signs that the Kingdom is erupting in our midst. Jesus’ words to the disciples of John underscore this. If you look around, you will see the signs of God’s loving-kindness: ´The blind regain their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have the good news proclaimed to them” (Mat. 11:5). Though our hands be weak and our knees wobbly, we can lean on Christ.

He will accompany us. The journey may not be elegant, but the destination is sure – our heavenly homeland. All that God requires from us is that we depend on Him and place our weak hands and wobbly knees at His service. Into a world enveloped in darkness and uncertainty, a light shall shine, the Light of Christ, the Light of the World.

In that light we shall look at each other’s face and see the Face of Christ. In that light, we can lift up our hands and make a joyful noise. In that Light we shall stand up on our wobbly knees and dance. In that Light we can show forth the goodness of our God by showing love and compassion for one another. Let us standup on our wobbly knees and raise our weak hands and prepare the way for our God. We need only ask the Lord to use us as we are, to open the door for His coming. I hope you find this prayer of Thomas Merton an appropriate ending to these reflections.


“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”

--Father Jerome Machar, OSCO

Perseverance in Faith

The word of the Lord came to me, saying: Go and proclaim in the hearing of Jerusalem, Thus says the Lord:
I remember the devotion of your youth,
   your love as a bride,
how you followed me in the wilderness,
   in a land not sown.
Israel was holy to the Lord,
   the first fruits of his harvest.
All who ate of it were held guilty;
   disaster came upon them,

says the Lord.

 Hear the word of the Lord, O house of Jacob, and all the families of the house of Israel. Thus says the Lord:
What wrong did your ancestors find in me
   that they went far from me,
and went after worthless things, and became worthless themselves?
They did not say, ‘Where is the Lord
   who brought us up from the land of Egypt,
who led us in the wilderness,
   in a land of deserts and pits,
in a land of drought and deep darkness,
   in a land that no one passes through,
   where no one lives?’
I brought you into a plentiful land
   to eat its fruits and its good things.
But when you entered you defiled my land,
   and made my heritage an abomination.
The priests did not say, ‘Where is the Lord?’
   Those who handle the law did not know me;
the rulers transgressed against me;
   the prophets prophesied by Baal,
   and went after things that do not profit.


Therefore once more I accuse you,

says the Lord,
   and I accuse your children’s children.
Cross to the coasts of Cyprus and look,
   send to Kedar and examine with care;
   see if there has ever been such a thing.
Has a nation changed its gods,
   even though they are no gods?
But my people have changed their glory
   for something that does not profit.
Be appalled, O heavens, at this,
   be shocked, be utterly desolate,

says the Lord,
for my people have committed two evils:
   they have forsaken me,
the fountain of living water,
   and dug out cisterns for themselves,
cracked cisterns
   that can hold no water. (Jeremiah 2: 1-13)

            Perseverance is not usually one of our strong suites. We allow youthful enthusiasm to evolve into mature cynicism. Life beats us down and eventually we abandon our first love. After beginning well, we gradually we get off track. It is hard to keep swimming upstream. Stroke by stroke we grow weary of being 'the odd man out'. Having been worn down, we stop fighting the tug of the current and abandon ourselves to the flow. Once we stop striving against the draw of secular thought and begin to immerse ourselves in the tide of acceptable social mores, we shall stop journeying for the 'other shore'. When we get tired, let us not take the easy way out, of giving in to the movement of the stream. Rather, let us hold fast to the anchor of our profession. It is essential that we cling to Christ Who alone can bring us safely home. 

              Gospel hope is our anchor in the storms of this world. It is sure and steadfast, or it could not keep us so. The free grace of God, the merits and mediation of Christ, and the powerful influences of his Spirit, are the grounds of this hope, and so it is a steadfast hope. Christ is the object and ground of the believer's hope. Let us set our affections on things above, and wait patiently for his appearance, when we shall certainly appear with him in glory. Those who love souls must be willing to bear the consequences of their faithfulness. Maintaining a strong faith in God requires steadfast courage and unwavering hope in the face of our complex world situation. We have to admit, it was much easier to believe when we were young. The ‘slings and arrows of outrageous fortune’ have caused us to doubt God’s love, to question other people’s sincerity and to deny our personal worth. It seems we have lost the sure and trustworthy anchor of our souls (Cf. Heb. 6: 19). 

            Popular opinion does not change or alter eternal truth. Contrary to our democratic way of looking at things, God does not need our permission to exist. God does not depend on our approval ratings to be Master of the Universe. As the Master of the Universe, He exercises dominion over all that He has created. Because God is unchanged and unchangeable, He is the ground and foundation that holds us firm in the face of all life’s challenges. He remains faithful to His Word, even though we are unfaithful. He always acknowledges the work of His hands. As the Psalmist wrote: “He made us, we belong to Him” (Ps. 100:3). There is comfort in knowing that it is He who made us and has a plan for us. This plan cannot be undone by our unfaithfulness. Unlike secular society, God never tires of forgiving us when we wander from the fold. In Him we live and move and have our being. In Him we saved from our sins and recreated in light and grace. Because of the victory of the Cross, we belong to Him and are not our own. May we make it our business to give Him glory and praise to the latest day and hour of our lives. 

--Fr. Jerome Machar, OSCO

Blocking Jesus

1 And when the Sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome, bought spices, so that they might go and anoint him. 2 And very early on the first day of the week they went to the tomb when the sun had risen. 3 And they were saying to one another, "Who will roll away the stone for us from the door of the tomb?" 4 And looking up, they saw that the stone was rolled back; -- it was very large. 5 And entering the tomb, they saw a young man sitting on the right side, dressed in a white robe; and they were amazed. 6 And he said to them, "Do not be amazed; you seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has risen, he is not here; see the place where they  laid him. 7 But go, tell his disciples and Peter that he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him, as he told you." 

8 And they went out and fled from the tomb; for trembling and astonishment had come upon them; and they said nothing to any one, for they were afraid. 9 Now when he rose early on the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, from whom he had cast out seven demons. 10 She went and told those who had been with him, as they mourned and wept. 11 But when they heard that he was alive and had been seen by her, they would not believe it. 12 After this he appeared in another form to two of them, as they were walking into the country. 13 And they went back and told the rest, but they did not believe them. (Mark 16: 1-13)

Mary Magdalene at the tomb of Christ hears Jesus call her by name.

Saint Mark summarizes the events of Easter Sunday. He reports how the grieving apostles refused to believe the eyewitness accounts of those who encountered the risen Lord. Evidently, Thomas was not the only doubter in the crowd. According to Saint Mark’s account, they not only rejected the report of Mary Magdalene but also that of the disciples who returned from Emmaus. Their grief and disappointment at the death of Jesus blocked their ability to receive the message of hope. Theirs was not a simple and passive lack of faith. Rather, theirs was an outright denial of the good news announced by the witnesses the risen Lord had sent them. Their sentiments will be verbalized by Thomas, “Unless I see the marks of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nail marks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe” (Jn. 20:25). They chose to remain in their grief rather than accept the possibility that Jesus actually did rise from His tomb.

We are not that different from that group of fearful and confused apostles. Like them, we are locked within the walls of our defense mechanisms. We don't trust ourselves. We don't trust other people. We are not sure if we can trust God. It is easier for us to remain in our anxiety and doubt than to allow the risen Christ to be part of our lives. By trying to stay within what we have grown accustomed to we actually impede our ability to be the men and women God created us to be. The more we try to justify our choices, the deeper we sink into the abyss, an abyss that Christ overcame by His resurrection from the dead. As in the case of Saint Peter, the Lord is ready and willing to grab hold of us as soon as we cry for help. Remember the account of Jesus walking on the water. As the waters rise over Peter's head, Jesus stretches out His arm and says, "Don’t panic. I'm here!"

This Gospel account tells the story of how the apostles were called out of their darkness into the light of resurrection joy. The sealed and guarded tomb could not confine the Risen Lord. Having risen from the dead, Jesus would not permit locked doors to confine His disciples. Because they saw fit to reject the messengers He had sent them, Jesus saw fit to rebuke them for refusing to trust in His word.

We may be more like the disciples than we would like to admit. We tend to be selective when it comes to listening to the messengers God sends us. We shut out any challenge to enter more deeply into the mysteries of faith. Like the disciples we want to keep our expressions of faith closeted away so as to be polite and nice in the midst of a society that has lost its moral compass. Christ exposed Himself to the torment inflicted upon him by the culture of death. Upon the altar of the cross He conquered sin and death. With His dying breath He gave the victory shout of the Kingdom of Life. The tomb burst open because death no longer had any hold on Him. Now, He calls us to throw off the chains that once bound us and to come forth from our captivity so as to walk in the Light. Christ is risen from the dead. By death He trampled death and to those in the grave He granted life.

--Fr. Jerome Machar, OSCO