Penances for Busy Moms and Dads

I received a phone call today from a homeschooling mom of five small children. She wanted to do penance for the souls in Purgatory and wondered what she could do. What were good sacrifices to make for the Poor Souls and would the Lord accept them?

Saint Francis de Sales had some good answers for busy parents. Offer up the daily grind as penance and sacrifice, because that is what it is. When we are responsible for little souls and growing and active bodies, we are frequently so busy that we collapse into bed at night. Forget about doing an hour of contemplation as nuns do in convents. A busy house of small children is definitely not a convent. We all have to learn to sanctify our time where we are. "Bloom where you are planted" is definitely an appropriate saying for busy parents.

So what are moms and dads to do? Certainly they can live the CFP Rule and Constitutions! These were written for lay people including parents of small children. But parents should never think that the not eating meat four days a week or the simplifying of their wardrobe or the praying of certain prayers outweighs being patient with reading The Pokey Little Puppy for the 69th time to a toddler. The penances of the CFP Rule and Constitutions are intended to develop the virtues that help us, parents or not, to become more attuned to neighbor and to God, and to see God in our neighbor. That neighbor might be a whiny two year old who insists on eating in the living room when Mom wants her to eat in the kitchen over the linoleum.

Most of us tend to think that our lives are not really holy nor are they avenues to sanctity. The very opposite is true. Our lives can offer the most opportunities for sanctity if we only take advantage of them. This extends from giving your four year old the last cookie when you'd like to have it for yourself to charging out of a warm bed on a cold night because a child is crying over a loud noise heard in the dark. "Offer it up" does not apply only to losing one's job or being rebuffed by an acquaintance. It also extends to having to wash the laundry again because a magic marker was lost in a child's pocket and dyed everything blue.

Parents, don't miss out on the opportunities for holiness right there among the crushed crayons and the corn flakes dumped out into the sink. "Offer it up" along with your CFP penances and do so with as much joy and patience as you can muster. Ask the Holy Spirit to bolster your intentions and your actions. You will find that you are growing in holiness, not only through the penances you seek, but in the ones that come to you. May God sanctify you right where you are!

--Madeline Pecora Nugent, CFP