The Read to Holiness Is Always Under Construction: Thoughts on Ash Wednesday

But when you fast,

anoint your head and wash your face,
so that you may not appear to be fasting,
except to your Father who is hidden.
And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.” (Matthew 6: 17-18)

  

I’ve always wondered why the Church uses this reading on Ash Wednesday. Here is the reading, telling us to wash our faces and anoint our heads, and we hear this right before we receive ashes on our foreheads and then go out into the world to be a witness to other people. Here we are, making a big public statement that we are holy Christians who have gone to Mass and receive our ashes on Ash Wednesday. This seems to be in contradiction to the Gospel reading from Matthew.

But there is no contradiction. The ashes are not to be a boast as if to say, “Look, everyone, I got my ashes!” or to say, “Look how holy I am. I’ve been to Mass.” The ashes are to make us look at the intent of the heart.

The Lord asks us for acts of penance as a way of responding to the call to conversion. The ashes are for us to acknowledge the fact that we are made of dust and unto dust we shall return. When signing us with the ashes, the priest may say, “Remember, man, that you are dust and unto dust you shall return.” By my sins, I should certainly be turning back to dust, but the Lord has come to me and will deliver me.

In Scripture, sinners put ashes and dirt on their heads to show that they were repentant of their sins. This was a popular way of proclaiming conversion. “Turn from your sins and believe in the Gospel” is another phrase that a priest may say when placing the ashes on someone’s forehead. Receiving the ashes is a proclamation that we will begin again, that we will start anew, that we will press forward in our conversion. I wear the ashes because, although I deserve death, I am delivered from death by the Lord.

The Church tells us to repent and turn back to God and to believe in the Gospel. Don’t we already believe in the Gospel? If we didn’t believe, would we be at Mass receiving ashes on Ash Wednesday? Our belief in the Gospel does not lead us to a full embracing of the Gospel. If we fully embraced the Gospel, we would be in heaven! Venerable Solanus Casey was often praised for his goodness and even called holy to his face. To these remarks he would say, “Pray for my conversion.” Yes, we believe in the Gospel, but we need a deeper belief. A holy priest is fond of saying, “The road to holiness is always under construction.” So much construction needs to be done. We get in God’s way and He has to clear the path to call us to a deeper conversion.

We have to allow the life of the Gospel to really flow in our lives. Our lives are sometimes like a flooded river that is choked with uprooted trees, branches, and debris. The river drags all of this junk downstream and then it hits a snag on the banks and everything backs up. The debris chokes the flow of the river and blocks it from moving forward. This natural dam needs to be removed in order to release the flow of the river and allow the water to move freely. We must be freed of the junk in our lives so that the grace of God can flow more freely.

God always challenges us to go deeper, to seek deeper. We need a good examination of conscience every day. We need to look deeper into our hearts and explore the seven deadly sins in our lives. Which one needs to be addressed first and conquered? Which sin is blocking the flow of God’s grace in my life? How does it express itself in my life? How can I remove this sin? What is God asking me to do in response to my sin? What corporal or spiritual work of mercy will help me to overcome this major sin in my life?

For example, is sloth blocking my generosity, masquerading as selfishness? Am I unwilling to go out of my way to help someone else? If sloth is blocking the growth of the fruit of generosity, I can overcome that sin by doing spiritual and corporal works of mercy for someone.

What fruits of the Holy Spirit am I lacking in my life? What is blocking the development of those?

Lent is not just about giving up this or that, but by doing it with an eye toward maturing in the grace of God and embracing the Gospel more fully. May God give us the grace to enter Lent t with a desire for true holiness so that by Easter the sin that has blocked God’s mercy and grace in our lives has been removed and we are finally freed to experience God’s blessing.

--Transcribed as best as possible from the Ash Wednesday homily of Father David Engo, Franciscan Brothers Minor